31 March 2009

88 Minutes (2007)

Al Pacino is a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI, a fact he tells us repeatedly throughout the movie, has a taste for younger women, is an expert witness for prosecuting serial killers, and has 88 minutes to live. Not surprisingly all those facts are related. Despite the hype, the 88 minutes of his life are not accurately reflected in the 88 minutes on-screen (unless Al has a teleportation device). The story itself is full of holes, including giving away the perpetrators too early in the story, and Al Pacino puts in a lazy performance. Calling this thriller mediocre would be too kind.

30 March 2009

Hancock (2008)

The shorts for this movie make it seem like a comedy and, although there are some absurdly comic moments, it is a mostly serious study of a man with superpowers who may be the only one of his kind. Will Smith is a drunken “superhero” who aimlessly lives his life and leaves a path of destruction in his half-hearted attempts to be heroic. Jason Bateman is an idealistic PR man who thinks he can revamp Will’s image and turn him in to a popular public figure. Bateman’s wife, Charlize Theron, is not supportive of this course of action. The film would have been even better if it was more serious, and maybe it would have also been better if it was a total comedy, but the end result is good anyway, and better than most of the comic based superhero movies.

29 March 2009

Frost/Nixon (2008)

Lightweight, British, television host David Frost (Michael Sheen) decides to interview disgraced, former US president Richard Nixon (Frank Langella) in the film adaptation of the play that also starred Sheen and Langella. Excellent support is provided by Kevin Bacon, Oliver Platt, and Sam Rockwell.

The events of 1977 are scripted here to show Frost as the master manipulator after Nixon originally has him dazed and confused. We see the techniques of both sides to enact their agendas, but the resemblance to reality is questionable, and the actual interview is not the major cultural artefact the movie purports it to be. That doesn’t mean the film is not interesting or rewarding, but it does mean the film is not as factual (and we know a lot more about the scenario in 2009 than we did in 1977) as it could be. The real story of Nixon’s carefully scripted confession and apology is perhaps even more interesting.

27 March 2009

Watchmen – Under The Hood (2009)

In the Watchmen movie, reference is made to Hollis Mason’s (the original Nite Owl) autobiography of his days as a masked vigilante, Under The Hood. This short, released to coincide with the Watchmen movie, explores that book in the format of a television documentary featuring interviews with some of the original Minutemen (at least the ones that are in the movie). Sadly the Comedian is mentioned but not interviewed. It’s a bit dull, but does provide some context for the Watchmen’s opening credits.

26 March 2009

Burn After Reading (2008)

Joel and Ethan Coen have a great talent for creating quirky characters for their actors, but I wish they were equally as good at writing a script. Burn After is a story of incorrect assumptions, infidelity, and mistaken identity that is not as interesting as the characters in it.

25 March 2009

Watchmen – Tale Of The Black Freighter (2009)


Tales Of The Black Freighter is a story within a story in the original Watchmen comic and it’s been turned in to an animated short to accompany the Watchmen movie. The characters that read the comic in Watchmen don’t appear in the movie (except for quick glimpses of the newstand) and the comic doesn’t appear at all. This film is really just for fans of the comic wanting more Watchmen (and even then its appeal is limited). It’s a pirate horror story and the Black Freighter with its undead crew reminded me of the Black Pearl (without the benefit of Geoffrey Rush). Maybe Watchmen’s influence didn’t stop with the world of comics, it may have influenced Pirates Of The Caribbean as well.

24 March 2009

Quantum Of Solace (2008)

I remember when James Bond was suave, discrete, and human (albeit more gifted and accomplished than most). In Quantum Of Solace he is a brutal thug with no concept of the covert aspect of being a secret agent. The new Bond steals boats, cars, clothes and is a public nuisance. Bond used to be believable (kind of) but his villains were wonderfully over the top, but now Bond has become almost superhuman and the villains mundane. What happened to the days when the villains has undersea bases, or private islands, or lived in hollow volcanoes? Now they hold up in a hotel in Bolivia and only pose a threat to the local villagers.

Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond was quite good (Casino Royale), but now we are out of Ian Fleming novels and 007 has become a generic, American action hero. He could be replaced in this film by Jason Bourne or any Schwarzenegger character. The female leads use to serve some purpose in the movies, but Olga Kurylenko’s character is completely superfluous to the story and Mathieu Amalric’s villain is more a target for university activists than MI6. The movie is not just an insult to Bond, but an insult to the actors. Everything that was good about Bond is missing in Quantum of Solace, even Bond’s sense of humour and skills of seduction.

This movie looks like the producers had a checklist of all the things that should be in a Bond film but no idea how to write them in to a story. The logical narrative of the movie is appalling. It is like a porn movie with some pointless dialogue to loosely justify the dreadfully filmed action that follows.

I maintain that the best recent James Bond movie is Tomorrow Never Dies. Pierce Brosnan was perfect as Bond and Michelle Yeoh as his Chinese counterpart was his equal, if not superior, and the best Bond woman ever.

23 March 2009

Let the Right One In (2008)

Oskar is a 12yo loner who is bullied at his school in Stockholm. He develops a friendship/romance with his neighbour, Eli, who appears to be a girl his age, but all is not as it seems. Eli is a vampire.

The concept is novel and vastly different from Near Dark (1987) which also had a child vampire befriending a human child. The final 30 minutes of Let The Right One In is killer and the film would be a lot better if the previous 80 minutes wasn’t so slow (and mostly unnecessary, unless you are part of the serious "art" crowd that like that sort of pacing). I did learn some things from this movie, including all Swedish furniture looks like it comes from IKEA and what happens to a vampire when they enter your house uninvited. Don’t watch the dubbed version, it’s too odd, watch it in Swedish with subtitles.

19 March 2009

Itty Bitty Titty Committee (2007)

A teenage lesbian meets politically active lesbians and falls in love with the ideology and one of the wimmin. Jamie Babbitt (But I’m A Cheerleader) delivers again with a nice idea and a talented and appealing cast, even if it is a little hard for a raving heterosexual like me to relate to. The soundtrack is killer, including plenty of Kathleen Hanna (Bikini Kill, Le Tigre) and other riot grrl brilliance.

18 March 2009

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008)

The Writers Guild of America strike of 2008 might have caused the death of some tv series, fragmented others while they went on a forced hiatus, but there was some good that came out of it (and I am not just talking of increased revenue for writers). Joss Whedon (with his brothers and friends) created an online musical during the void that is now on DVD.

Dr Horrible/Billy (Neil Patrick Harris from Starship Troopers) is a supervillain (but really very evil) who lives with his side-kick Moist (Simon Helberg from Big Bang Theory), is secretly in love with Penny (Felicia Day from Buffy The Vampire Slayer) from the Laundromat, publicly at war with his arch-nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion from Serenity, who has a great smarmy smile), and doing his best to be accepted in to the Evil League of Evil (led by Bad Horse, who is a horse).

And Penny will see the evil me
Not a joke not a dork not a failure
And she may cry but her tears will dry
When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia

Most people like music but, quite legitimately hate musicals. Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog may be the one that changes their mind. It is better than I thought a musical could be. Much better. I think it is far supperior to Joss’ musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This is a funny, corny, tragic, dramatic, and quite revealing study of the motives of heroes and villains. The DVD extras include a whole new song track about the writer’s strike.

17 March 2009

Watchmen (2009)

The Watchmen are group of superheroes living in a world on the verge of nuclear war, and one of them has just been killed. This is Zack Snyder’s Watchmen, not to be confused with Alan Moore’s Watchmen. Moore’s work is a complex and subtle story. Snyder’s film is like being hit in the face with a big, bloodied fish, then sitting dazed for a while before being hit again. I like violent films, but the original comic’s implications of violence were much more effective (like in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho). Snyder must think film goers are idiots who need everything made more obvious to them. Or is he just pandering to American audiences who love guns and violence?




Incidentally, I have no reservations referring to Watchmen as a comic. I don’t need to justify its use of pictures to tell a story (and the art by Dave Gibbons is magnificent) by calling it a graphic novel. Calling something a novel doesn’t make it any more valid a literary item than a comic. Have you seen most of the novels that are out there? They are derivative, uninspired trash. If African Americans can make “nigger” non-derogatory, if homosexuals can claim the terms “queer” and “gay” as their own, if punks can make the term “punk” positive, then “comic” can be acceptable terminology for sequential art narrative (as the lovely and talented Nicki Greenberg once described them). It is an art form more varied and intricate than many people realise. The problem is with people, not the terminology.

The task of converting the 12 issues of Watchmen to film was always going to mean sacrifices to the story, but why leave in aspects (like an unmasked Rorschach’s early appearances that don’t show him enough to be recognised later or the final scene at The New Frontiersman without explaining what the publication is) that mean nothing to people who haven’t read the comic. Was Snyder trying to appease the fans with in-references at the expense of the uninitiated? I saw the film with people who hadn’t read the comic and they were confused by some scenes and subsequently bored by the film. Snyder could have dropped some of the unnecessary sex and violence he added to explore other plot threads, or he could have made a shorter movie. Perhaps the Directors Cut when it is released on DVD will be better, or maybe there will be even more unnecessary additions. I can’t decide which is worse, the gratuitous violence, or changing the ending. I was never that convinced by the validity of the comic’s ending, but I would never be presumptuous enough to change it. Who does Snyder thinks he is to rewrite Alan Moore? Perhaps he is rewriting the end of Romeo and Juliet next. (Am I sounding like an aggravated fanboy yet?)




The film is not all bad. Snyder couldn’t destroy everything from the original, and what is left of Moore and Gibbon’s story makes the film enjoyable (at times). The opening credits are a great recap of what has happened in this alternate world of superheroes, even if it won’t mean much to those who haven’t read the comic. Jackie Earle Haley’s Rorschach is the standout character, and the acting is generally good, except for Matthew Goode’s Ozymandias. Rorschach (an obsessed, masked vigilante trying to clean up the streets of his city) is a much better Batman than anyone else has managed to create on film (even if he is meant to be more like The Question than Batman). Niteowl is also a better Batman than anyone else as managed to film (and at least he is like Batman in costume and accessories). The Comedian (excellently played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is a better psychotic, violent madman than any Joker ever filmed as well, and he is not even meant to be the “real” villain. It’s common knowledge that films are never as good as the books they are based on, Watchmen is no different. I liked it despite all there was to hate.

16 March 2009

Ritual (2001)

The latest Tales From The Script instalment is a remake of I Walked With A Zombie (1943). Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) is a doctor who goes to Jamaica to cure a man who thinks he is a zombie, but there is more happening than that. This is a dull and unnecessary remake and the Cryptkeeper segments have obviously been added on to an existing film, but this film has none of the trashy goodness I expect from the Crypt franchise. Tim Curry, some nudity (but thankfully not a nude Tim Curry), and stereotypical, superstitious Jamaicans don’t help the film.

15 March 2009

National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers (2003)

Two losers decide the best way to make money is to marry some rich, old women whose father invented a condom line. The two old women decide the best way to make money is to marry some dumb guys and kill them off for the insurance money.

Nikki Ziering (the movie's advertised eye candy) is listed prominently on the cover, but she is only in the movie for a couple of short scenes.


I have to stop watching National Lampoon movies before my brain rots. They are not funny anymore. This review is done solely as a warning to whoever reads it to never watch this film. NEVER WATCH THIS FILM.

12 March 2009

W... again...

When Alexander died, he had to wait 2328 years until a film told his life...
Genghis Khan died, and waited 738 years for Omar Sharif to do him justice...
Attila the Hun lay dormant for 501 years until his agent collected 10%...
and Vlad the Impaler was in the ground for 455 years before Hollywood came calling.

But lately, people haven't been waiting quite as long after death to bring these stories to the screen...

George S Patton was imortalised only 35 years after he died...
Winston Churchill was being played by Robert Hardy a mere 16 years after his passing...
Andy Kaufman had been seeing the "man on the moon" for only 15 years...
... and I'm sure there's already a Heath Ledger bio-pic on the way...


10 March 2009

Behind The Mask The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (2006)

Taylor Gentry (Angela Goethals) is reporter doing a story on serial killers. She takes on us a quick trip to Elm Street and other legendary locations before tracking down Leslie Mancuso (Nathan Baesel). The movie follows their conversations as Leslie details the plotting of a night of killing to put himself in the ranks of the elite movie serial killers. Doc Halloran (Robert Englund – Nightmare On Elm Street, ">Zombie Strippers) confronts Taylor and tells her that that Leslie is not who he seems. Leslie is happy to have a nemesis in Halloran and Taylor is happy with the footage and insight in to a killer she has. Taylor is not so happy when Leslie Vernon appears and starts killing, and Taylor realises the plot she has been given is not complete.

The film is a mockumentary that ends in stalk and slasher style. Some of the ground has been covered before, in films like Scream, but the detail in Behind the Mask is impressive. The actors do well with a thoughtful, well planned script, and the casting and naming of characters adds another dimension to the in-jokes. So many films in this genre are cliched beyond redemption, but Behind The Mask has somethign new to say and does it with humour.

My favourite scene is one that was cut and appears on the DVD extras. Leslie demonstrates to Taylor how a killer who is walking can keep up with a victim who is running. It’s a funny scene.


09 March 2009

Blood Ties The Complete Series DVD (2007)

The Canadians love their vampire television, and how could they not after the brilliance that was Forever Knight. The concept of Blood Ties is the middle ground between the crime fighting and vampire lore of Forever Knight (1992) and the supernatural soap opera, True Blood (2008), and is based on the novels by Tanya Huff.

Vicki Nelson (Christina Cox) is a Private Investigator in Toronto who, while investigating the disappearance of Coreen Fennel’s (Gina Holden - Dale Arden in TV's Flash Gordon) boyfriend, meets Henry Fitzroy (Kyle Schmid), a vampire. By the end of the first story, Vicki has discovered that Henry is a nightwalker and that the world is populated by magic and monsters, and she employs Coreen, who has a knowledge and passion for the occult, to help her investigate what the police don’t understand. All of this confuses Vicki’s ex, Mike Celluci (Dylan Neal), a local detective who is suspicious of Vicki, Henry, Coreen and the supernatural cases they investigate.

Once the characters are established, the episodes break down in to the Night Stalker scenario of having a new monster/demon an episode, including vampires, zombies, elves and Pandora’s box. There is the expected sexual tension between the characters, and Henry’s character makes no apologies for being a vampire and feeling a little superior because of it. In one episode, Vicki stops by Henry’s apartment and catches him with yet another woman…
“I thought you were the Prince of Darkness, but it’s really more like the Lord of Lechery or something.”
“A man has to eat.”
“You don’t have to play with your food.”

It’s an enjoyable show, and the revolving cast of metaphysical creatures leaves it more room to move than the similarly themed Moonlight (2007).