Blindness ( 2008 )

Blindness is a film based on Jose Saramago's award winning novel of the same name.

It is a parable of sorts dealing with both society and its inevitable breakdown, in the wake of a never explained outbreak of a disease of sorts, that leaves anyone infected, blind... as well my inability to really understand what parables are supposed to be. The afflicted are rounded up and imprisoned, left, for all intents and purposes to fend for themselves... and much like Australian politics if the media or the public was removed, chaos soon reigns.

Visually amazing, at times harrowing and beautiful, the film tracks human nature ( not the band ) once all the confines of "society" are removed. Many films have tried similar things in the past, but very few have done it in such a memorable, unique, and eerily beautiful way.

Julianne Moore and the cinematography both shine, sometimes quite literally under the bright white lights to bely the diminishing sight of the characters clouded with this sudden affliction; an expanse of dazzling white, described as though they are "swimming in milk".

Blindness may not always be easy going, and may not give a good view of human nature... but your eyesight could be put to worse uses than checking out this bleak gem.

Transmorphers: Fall Of Man (2009)

The Asylum make a prequel to their film Transmorphers and, besides the robots in disguise element, keep the plot different from the similarly named Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen that they are clearly and deliberately ripping off.

A series of deaths leads to the revelation that most technology on Earth is based on reverse engineering what was found on an alien spaceship that crashed in Roswell. Innocent machines (eg telephones) start killing people and that heralds an invasion of robots from space. It is up to Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5, Chuck, Heroes), his niece’s boyfriend, Shane Van Dyke (who is also the writer), and a female scientist, Jennifer Rubin (Road Kill, Screamers), to save the planet.

Fall Of Man has a cheesy start, thanks mainly to Bruce Boxleitner’s presence, and there is the expected ridiculous dialogue, questionable acting, and appalling effects, but the story never gains momentum. Transmorphers managed to create a sense of urgency and tension (even if it wasn’t much) while the prequel does neither. Certainly not the worse film out there, and it’s much better than Transformers Revenge of The Fallen, but it could have been much more.

Riverworld (2010)

I thought the 2003 version of Riverworld by the Syfy Channel was a travesty, but their latest interpretation makes the first version look like a work of genius.

The script is a mess, with little to do with the books, the acting is deficient, one dimensional Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse) does not have enough talent for a lead role, and the direction is cringe worthy. The characters of Samuel Clemens and Youseff provide the only glimmer of entertainment. Not even the addition a cute female samurai to the story can save it.

The Dead Outside (2008)

I didn’t think it was possible to make a virus/zombie film as bad as this. And I certainly didn’t think the British would be the ones to do it. Avoid it like the plague.

Resident Evil Degeneration (aka Biohazard Degeneration) (2008)

The Resident Evil series continues without Milla Jovovich or, in fact, any people at all.

The T-Virus is unleashed at an airport, but luckily the clean up crew is near by and the contamination is contained, but the story doesn’t stop there. The G-Virus is dispensed to allow for more death and violence.

This animated entry in to the series (more connected to the games than the movies) is okay. The female leads are tough, but the male lead is the weird Japanese interpretation of how a hero looks (ie he doesn’t look like Bruce Willis, he looks more like he is in a pop band). The underlying premise of a government and business conspiracy is decent. My main complaint is the length of time fighting the big monster. That is a little too much like playing the video game.

The Cell 2 (2009)

I don’t remember much about The Cell (2000). I hope to remember even less about the sequel.

Highwaymen (2004)

Every so often I find a film that I missed when it was released. This week it was Highwaymen, directed by Robert Harmon who directed The Hitcher, but nothing of any note since. One of the writers, Hans Bauer, did do Anaconda and Anacondas The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, which may or may not be a recommendation.

Jim Caviezel (The Prisoner, Deja Vu) sees his girlfriend deliberately run down by a Cadillac. The film jumps forward 5 years and Caviezel is now cruising the highways in his muscle car looking for the Cadillac and its driver, Colm Feore (The Chronicles Of Riddick, Paycheck). Caviezel comes to the aid of Rhona Mitra (Underworld Rise of the Lycans, Doomsday, Skinwalkers), who also lost someone to the Cadillac and is now a target herself.

Highwayman has a Duel feel to it, as Mitra is stalked by the Cadillac, then it goes Mad Max as Caviezel arrives to play revenge seeking saviour. The film is interesting and dumb at the same time. The story of what happened between Caviezel and Feore in the missing 5 years was clever, but sadly the other parts of the film are not so clever, although the car crashes are nice (the fake people they hit are not so convincing). Mitra, who does so well in action films, spends most of the film as the damsel in distress. The film is okay, thanks to the actors and direction, and a little like a new version of Death Car On The Freeway.

Avatar (2009)

An evil, interplanetary corporation wants to mine land that is occupied, and considered sacred, by the indigenous race. Big business has the ruthless military on their side, and only the scientists (playing the good guys for a change) have a problem with killing the locals.

Writer / director James Cameron shows the imagination of a 13 year old boy in creating this juvenile, predictable, cliched, and utterly manipulative film. The film starts poorly with a Planet called Pandora (so you know they are going to open a box of trouble there) where they are mining “Unobtainium” which, although being a real word, is perhaps the most ridiculous element in a movie since “flubber”.

Cameron tries to make the natives, Na’vi, likeable, but they end up as annoying and one dimensional as the humans. I kept expecting Sting to turn up and try to save them like he did the occupants of the Amazon rainforest.

I am not sure what we are to think of Sam Worthington’s character, Sully. First he sells out the Na’vi, then forgets he has done that and spends so much time flirting with the local sexpot, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), that he does nothing to prevent their slaughter. In an effort for redemption, he organizes an assault on the humans which is one of the most appalling pieces of military strategy ever. Not surprisingly, the Na’vi are slaughtered again before the foreseeable retribution arrives.

All the gunplay comes as no surprise for those familiar with Cameron’s work. The violence in Cameron’s first hit, The Terminator, was not excessive because Cameron had a good story which he stole (originally uncredited) from Harlan Ellison. In the sequel ,where he had to rely on his own ideas, he added a lot more fighting. That was how he handled the sequels to Rambo and Alien. Cameron likes to adds lots of shooting in the absence of plot. Avatar follows that formula.

As a friend of mine said, “It’s Dances With Wolves in space”. The 3D imagery is impressive and Michelle Rodriguez (Fast & Furious , The Breed, Resident Evil) is wonderful in the small amount of screen time she is given. Neither is enough reason to watch this overblown embarrassment to science fiction.

An Inconvenient Truth (2006)

Murder World (aka Pearblossom, Life Blood) (2009)

Brooke (Sophie Monk – The Hills Run Red, Australian pop group Bardot) and Rhea (Anya Lahiri – The Scar Crow, Eurovision Song Contest) flee a murder scene in 1960’s Hollywood, meet God, are buried in the desert, and are brought back 40 years later to fight evil. Despite their supposed purpose in being reborn, only one of the women is good, the other is bad. They are also a bit lesbian. I don’t think the writer had any idea what to do with a story about arguing, vengeful lesbians killing people, and making out. It’s an uninteresting, illdefined mess.

I can’t believe I didn’t enjoy a movie about supernatural, killer lesbians more. Go watch Lesbian Vampire Killers instead.

Surveillance (2008)

Bill Pullman (Lake Placid, Independence Day, Lost Highway) and Julia Ormond (First Knight) are FBI agents who turn up at Michael Ironside’s (Terminator Salvation, Hardwired, Scanners) Sante Fe police station to investigate a recent highway bloodbath. There are three survivors of the incident, Kent Harper as a dodgy local cop, Pell James (Fanboys) as a skanky crack whore, and 8 year old Ryan Simpkins, each with their own version of what happened.

Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David) writes and directs her second movie, and shows the artistic flair of her father, but without the overwhelming and convoluted weirdness. Lynch takes the often used scenario of conflicting stories and makes it her own with unusual and well defined characters, surprise twists, clever dialogue, and black humour.

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink – Lost Boys The Tribe) is a film student who wants to find out the true story of the lost horror movie The Hills Run Red and it’s missing director, Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler – Die Hard 2, Bordello Of Blood)). Tyler finds the daughter of the director, Alexa (Sophie Monk - Date Movie, Popstars), who is now a stripper. The film student, the stripper, the best friend (Alex Wyndham), and the hotter than Sophie Monk girlfriend (Janet Montgomery) go in search of the director. They find more than they bargain for when the killer from the movie turns out to be real.

I’m sure the film is meant to be clever and insightful and play with the formula for horror/splatter films, as is the norm these days, but The Hills Run Red is just as cliched and predictable as the films it references. It comes complete with an obvious surprise ending (or two). Sophie Monk takes her top off a lot which may provide some consolation to viewers.

Fanboys (2009)

It’s 1998 and five somewhat geeky friends, Sam Huntington (Detroit Rock City),Chris Marquette (Infestation), Dan Fogler (Balls Of Fury), Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder), and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) meet up at a Halloween party. Events lead to the four boys heading out on a road trip to George Lucas’ ranch to watch Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace before it is released.

The movie starts promising but sadly follows standard road trip cliches, which means there is a drug experience, an arrest, romance, and too much self-realisation and male bonding. That rapid deterioration into predictability is a shame, because the Star Wars jokes, the fights with Star Trek fans, and the sexy Kristen Bell are a lot of fun.

Despite the disappointment of Fanboys being so formulaic, there is still enjoyment in the all the cameo appearances, including Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express), Jason Mewes (The Tripper, Bitten), Kevin Smith (Southland Tales, Daredevil) , Jaime King, (The Tripper, My Bloody Valentine 3D, The Spirit), Ray Park (GI Joe the Rise Of Cobra), Danny Trejo (Urban Justice, Alone In The Dark 2, Halloween), and, the best of all, William Shatner.

The scene that saves the movie is right at the end, when Kristen Bell appears in the Princess Leia slave girl costume. It is one of cinema’s greatest moments, and follows on from a long line of similar appearances of the costume by celebrities, wannabe celebrities, and cute SF fans.