03 September 2008


Before the hoax was exposed last week, did you wonder what the body of the "Georgia Bigfoot " really was? Over the years there have been many Bigfoot sightings, but could it be those sightings actually just coincide with the well traveled and often shirtless Ron Jeremy's public appearences? Perhaps Mulder and Scully needn't have reunited after all, as we at DVD Purgatory are now solving mysteries for them.

Or maybe it is merely the corpse of Andre the Giant, who everyone surely remembers as Bigfoot on the Six Million Dollar Man.

Certainly he appeared there, far cuddlier and less frightening than he was in his final years of wrestling, where in one match he sat his 500lb frame on a wrestler, put his back out and was unable to get off him. That was bad surely, but even worse, was that the trauma of his back injury also caused his bowels to release over his opponent, the ironically, but aptly named, Bad News Brown.Monstrous indeed... which leads me on to these guys.

Michael Vartan (Alias) was probably looking forward to filming in Australia, not realising he'd end up in the somewhat scenic but climately torturous Northern territory rather than a Gold Coast beach. A giant crocodile kills people with ease, except for the unfeasibly resilient stars. It garners little suspense and less thrills, but somehow a whole lot of annoying characters. It is good to see Australia making horror films. I hope one day they get it right.

The Hive
The Thorax team is called in to save the planet from killer ants. I had low expectations and still ended up disappointed... even with such great unexpected plot developments as the ants building a living computer. Who would have seen that coming?? All this film has going for it is a psycho Tom (The Dukes Of Hazzard) Wopat and the line, "We are not going to negotiate with ants".

and finally...
Harry and the Hendersons
I for one am always glad when film-makers break the taboos set by modern society. "Crying Game" surprised us, and then made heterosexual males feel a little awkward in the cinema... and "Boys Dont Cry" took us to places we had questioned ever since Tripitaka from Monkey confused the hell out of us as teens. Now, finally writer/director William Dear (Donald Duck's Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce) brings this last taboo out into the open and shouts to the world "yes, it is ok for a man to love his Sasquatch!!"
I for one applaud his bravery and honesty... and so does Lee Majors.
( OK, I have nothing to back that up, beyond this incriminating photo )

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