An Inconvenient Truth (2006)

Murder World (aka Pearblossom, Life Blood) (2009)

Brooke (Sophie Monk – The Hills Run Red, Australian pop group Bardot) and Rhea (Anya Lahiri – The Scar Crow, Eurovision Song Contest) flee a murder scene in 1960’s Hollywood, meet God, are buried in the desert, and are brought back 40 years later to fight evil. Despite their supposed purpose in being reborn, only one of the women is good, the other is bad. They are also a bit lesbian. I don’t think the writer had any idea what to do with a story about arguing, vengeful lesbians killing people, and making out. It’s an uninteresting, illdefined mess.

I can’t believe I didn’t enjoy a movie about supernatural, killer lesbians more. Go watch Lesbian Vampire Killers instead.

Surveillance (2008)

Bill Pullman (Lake Placid, Independence Day, Lost Highway) and Julia Ormond (First Knight) are FBI agents who turn up at Michael Ironside’s (Terminator Salvation, Hardwired, Scanners) Sante Fe police station to investigate a recent highway bloodbath. There are three survivors of the incident, Kent Harper as a dodgy local cop, Pell James (Fanboys) as a skanky crack whore, and 8 year old Ryan Simpkins, each with their own version of what happened.

Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David) writes and directs her second movie, and shows the artistic flair of her father, but without the overwhelming and convoluted weirdness. Lynch takes the often used scenario of conflicting stories and makes it her own with unusual and well defined characters, surprise twists, clever dialogue, and black humour.

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink – Lost Boys The Tribe) is a film student who wants to find out the true story of the lost horror movie The Hills Run Red and it’s missing director, Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler – Die Hard 2, Bordello Of Blood)). Tyler finds the daughter of the director, Alexa (Sophie Monk - Date Movie, Popstars), who is now a stripper. The film student, the stripper, the best friend (Alex Wyndham), and the hotter than Sophie Monk girlfriend (Janet Montgomery) go in search of the director. They find more than they bargain for when the killer from the movie turns out to be real.

I’m sure the film is meant to be clever and insightful and play with the formula for horror/splatter films, as is the norm these days, but The Hills Run Red is just as cliched and predictable as the films it references. It comes complete with an obvious surprise ending (or two). Sophie Monk takes her top off a lot which may provide some consolation to viewers.

Fanboys (2009)

It’s 1998 and five somewhat geeky friends, Sam Huntington (Detroit Rock City),Chris Marquette (Infestation), Dan Fogler (Balls Of Fury), Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder), and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) meet up at a Halloween party. Events lead to the four boys heading out on a road trip to George Lucas’ ranch to watch Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace before it is released.

The movie starts promising but sadly follows standard road trip cliches, which means there is a drug experience, an arrest, romance, and too much self-realisation and male bonding. That rapid deterioration into predictability is a shame, because the Star Wars jokes, the fights with Star Trek fans, and the sexy Kristen Bell are a lot of fun.

Despite the disappointment of Fanboys being so formulaic, there is still enjoyment in the all the cameo appearances, including Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express), Jason Mewes (The Tripper, Bitten), Kevin Smith (Southland Tales, Daredevil) , Jaime King, (The Tripper, My Bloody Valentine 3D, The Spirit), Ray Park (GI Joe the Rise Of Cobra), Danny Trejo (Urban Justice, Alone In The Dark 2, Halloween), and, the best of all, William Shatner.

The scene that saves the movie is right at the end, when Kristen Bell appears in the Princess Leia slave girl costume. It is one of cinema’s greatest moments, and follows on from a long line of similar appearances of the costume by celebrities, wannabe celebrities, and cute SF fans.

Hardwired (2009)

In the near future, where corporations run the world (just like in Rollerball), Cuba Gooding Jr (The Devil’s Tomb, Outbreak) wakes from a car accident to find his wife dead, that he has a spider like computer chip in his head, and he has no memory of his past. It’s all part of a nefarious plot instigated by Val Kilmer (Red Planet, Willow) and Hope Industries. Things look dire for Cuba until a very spunky Tatiana Maslany (Diary Of The Dead, Ginger Snaps Unleashed), Juan Riedinger (The Day The Earth Stood Still, Blood Ties), Chad Krowchuk (Snakehead Terror), and Michael Ironside (Terminator Salvation, Surveillance, Total Recall, Scanners) turn up to help him.

Hardwired is a disappointingly predictable cyber thriller. And I use the term thriller lightly. Kilmer and Ironside look like they want the paycheck to keep them in donuts. Cuba tries hard to bring some class to the production, but is outwitted at every turn by the unimaginative script. It’s still worth watching to see Ironside (who has made so many good films) play a nice guy and the cute Maslany all punked up.